Hello to you all again!
Did you hear the bells ringing last Friday? That's right, yours truly has officially tied the knot! It was very nice, if very quick and convenient. Given my travel situation this year, we had no time to plan a proper event, so we instead ran off to the courthouse and drove to New Orleans for a weekend of fun!
NOLA - It means New Orleans, Louisiana... took me the whole weekend to finally get it!
It was such a wonderful weekend, and while it would have certainly added a little spice; I don't regret not taking a single skirt with me. We had plenty of fun without the costume changes. We arrived in the afternoon on Saturday and checked into a lovely room at the Embassy Suites near the convention center. It was a long drive, so we let our (my) age get the better of us and took a nap before heading for the French Quarter. We spent Saturday night exploring Bourbon Street, listening to some great jazz / blues, perusing a few of the open galleries, and generally getting silly. On Sunday, we strolled the galleries, walked the river front, napped some more, and headed back to Bourbon Street to round out our weekend. So much fun!
Hey, did you know that on Labor Day weekend, the Big Easy plays host to the annual "Southern Decadence" celebration? Me neither! Imagine our surprise at learning we were NOT the only unique couple in New Orleans (kidding, we knew we'd be pretty "white bread" by comparison, even under "normal" circumstances). Aside from a slightly unpleasant mauling experience while trying to wade through a mob on Saturday night, we really enjoyed being surrounded by so many people who made us feel, well, normal.
Being among such a large group of LGBT people was such an uplifting experience. We knew we would have fun; we never imagined we'd find ourselves in such an appropriate surrounding. I did come to one conclusion though - I will NEVER again go to New Orleans without my mascara and heels!
We enjoyed it so much that we're already planning our "reunion tour" for next Labor Day weekend. Who's in?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Self Helpfulness - Not Another Whiny Queen!
Greetings again.
It's interesting (to me, probably not to you) that I used to write so prolifically on multiple blogs and now struggle to make regular updates on just one. More interestingly, it seems like a gradual degradation of creativity that began years ago.
I actually used to write poetry and numerous short-stories as a child. Later, my creativity branched into music composition. I seem to have peaked and started regression in my twenties. It's like some sad-ironic life-long telling of "Flowers for Algernon." Over the last couple years, though, I have to admit that my extended creative block seems less a loss of my super-powers and more like the recognition of a rut.
In my early blogscursions, I covered everything from movie reviews to political and religious commentary. I dabbled in humor and did a little dramatic writing. I even put the poet hat back on once or twice. Over time, my creative juices seemed to settle into self-analysis and lament. Eventually, the constant examination of self began to nauseate even me. At the same time that I was beginning to realize my own whiny nature and to loathe my self-loathing self for it, I began to realize that it seemed to be a pretty common trend among us trans-folk.
This evolution of understanding slowly soured my desire to blog, and even more so my desire to read and participate in blogs. My presence became scarce. Now my desire to write, and to hopefully write professionally someday has brought me back to the blogosphere. The question remains; is this the next step in my personal evolution, or just another spin around a well-worn block? The coming months (and you, my friends) will have to judge. I encourage your honest feedback.
This is my battle-cry: I will post compelling content with an honest and forthright approach. I will not wallow in the mire of self-pity, but will examine and share the experiences I encounter with an eye toward my eventual sense of self and self-worth. I will not lament my station in life, my dress size, or my overambitious follicles. I will not obsess over how the world sees me, who likes me, or how I got to this place in the world. I will use my words to create my universe. I will paint my self in my own light and reflect the light of the world - the good light - upon my existence. I will construct the image that others take away with them. Upon these pages, I will define myself - not as I was, but as I will be. And as I understand who I will be, who I am will emerge.
Who's with me?
***WARNING: SHAMELESS COMMERCIALIZATION AHEAD!!***
It's interesting (to me, probably not to you) that I used to write so prolifically on multiple blogs and now struggle to make regular updates on just one. More interestingly, it seems like a gradual degradation of creativity that began years ago.
I actually used to write poetry and numerous short-stories as a child. Later, my creativity branched into music composition. I seem to have peaked and started regression in my twenties. It's like some sad-ironic life-long telling of "Flowers for Algernon." Over the last couple years, though, I have to admit that my extended creative block seems less a loss of my super-powers and more like the recognition of a rut.
In my early blogscursions, I covered everything from movie reviews to political and religious commentary. I dabbled in humor and did a little dramatic writing. I even put the poet hat back on once or twice. Over time, my creative juices seemed to settle into self-analysis and lament. Eventually, the constant examination of self began to nauseate even me. At the same time that I was beginning to realize my own whiny nature and to loathe my self-loathing self for it, I began to realize that it seemed to be a pretty common trend among us trans-folk.
This evolution of understanding slowly soured my desire to blog, and even more so my desire to read and participate in blogs. My presence became scarce. Now my desire to write, and to hopefully write professionally someday has brought me back to the blogosphere. The question remains; is this the next step in my personal evolution, or just another spin around a well-worn block? The coming months (and you, my friends) will have to judge. I encourage your honest feedback.
This is my battle-cry: I will post compelling content with an honest and forthright approach. I will not wallow in the mire of self-pity, but will examine and share the experiences I encounter with an eye toward my eventual sense of self and self-worth. I will not lament my station in life, my dress size, or my overambitious follicles. I will not obsess over how the world sees me, who likes me, or how I got to this place in the world. I will use my words to create my universe. I will paint my self in my own light and reflect the light of the world - the good light - upon my existence. I will construct the image that others take away with them. Upon these pages, I will define myself - not as I was, but as I will be. And as I understand who I will be, who I am will emerge.
Who's with me?
***WARNING: SHAMELESS COMMERCIALIZATION AHEAD!!***
In the meantime, I'd love to introduce another title for your consideration. I'm sure a vast majority of you in genderland are familiar with the name Calpernia Addams. In her beats the heart of a creator, and that heart is laid bare for you in her stellar work, "Mark 947." If you haven't already read it, be a dear and click the link. You won't be sorry. Her narrative flows like the brushstrokes of an artist painting a masterpiece.
If you have read it (or after you do), please share your thoughts about the work. I'd love to know whether you agree.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Somuchtodo Andsolittle Thyme
Greetings kids!
Things have been soooo crazy. If I survive this year, it's a pretty safe bet that I am immortal. :o) I have made so many changes in the last six months, and have so many major milestones projected to occur this year, that I may quite possibly be dizzy for another decade. I am happy.
I really want to tell you all about all of it, but I've just not been able to spend the time. I will get there. In the mean time, I hope you are all doing well, and I'd love to hear what's going on with you. Leave a comment. Tell me how you are.
Peace, and hope to chat at you soon!
Love,
Kate
Things have been soooo crazy. If I survive this year, it's a pretty safe bet that I am immortal. :o) I have made so many changes in the last six months, and have so many major milestones projected to occur this year, that I may quite possibly be dizzy for another decade. I am happy.
I really want to tell you all about all of it, but I've just not been able to spend the time. I will get there. In the mean time, I hope you are all doing well, and I'd love to hear what's going on with you. Leave a comment. Tell me how you are.
Peace, and hope to chat at you soon!
Love,
Kate
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Hi I'm Here
No great revelations. Just stopping by to say hello.
Hello. Things are good; I am good. Just way too much going on to even breathe, much less create blog posts. I will be back, I promise.
After all, I have to tell you about the upcoming wedding (YYAAAAAAYYYY!!!!), and about my wedding dress. :) [floating amid fluffy clouds]
Take care!
Kate
Hello. Things are good; I am good. Just way too much going on to even breathe, much less create blog posts. I will be back, I promise.
After all, I have to tell you about the upcoming wedding (YYAAAAAAYYYY!!!!), and about my wedding dress. :) [floating amid fluffy clouds]
Take care!
Kate
Monday, November 9, 2009
Strange Brew
So... I think I might be in a relationship. I think I like it. The problem is that I keep looking over my shoulder for the hidden camera... waiting for the inevitable punch-line. I want to just let go and enjoy the feelings, but so far I have struggled to do that.
I'm dating a woman. Yes, a woman. I know... but hey, I'm already a complete outcast (enough to not be invited to my grandparents' 70th anniversary celebration), so why not just go all the way? Yup, I'm a transgendered lesbian. And... gasp... I think people should be okay with me.
I digress.
I'm dating a woman. She is beautiful, smart, funny, and I really like her. Here's the weird part. She likes me. No, really. She likes the me who shows up here... not the me that the rest of the world sees. She likes the whole me.
She tells me that she doesn't see me as a man, or as a woman; she sees me as beautiful... awe... it makes me cry just thinking about it! :*) So, I really like her. Did I say that already?
I don't know what else to say about it, other than the fact that I am very happy to be involved with her. (I think this could be real!!!! GASP!!!!)
I'm dating a woman. Yes, a woman. I know... but hey, I'm already a complete outcast (enough to not be invited to my grandparents' 70th anniversary celebration), so why not just go all the way? Yup, I'm a transgendered lesbian. And... gasp... I think people should be okay with me.
I digress.
I'm dating a woman. She is beautiful, smart, funny, and I really like her. Here's the weird part. She likes me. No, really. She likes the me who shows up here... not the me that the rest of the world sees. She likes the whole me.
She tells me that she doesn't see me as a man, or as a woman; she sees me as beautiful... awe... it makes me cry just thinking about it! :*) So, I really like her. Did I say that already?
I don't know what else to say about it, other than the fact that I am very happy to be involved with her. (I think this could be real!!!! GASP!!!!)
Sunday, November 1, 2009
And A Happy Halloween was had by… Some.
Greetings all,
This has been a monumental weekend. I have officially completed the course-work for the first of my classes. It has certainly taken more effort than I anticipated, but it seems manageable. I am happy to have this little milestone achieved.
On a less festive note, another Halloween has come and gone. Halloween is by far my most favorite holiday of them all. Of course, we all know why that is – it’s the one time of year when boys in dresses raise little more than a chuckle from the neighbors. Sadly, as with most Halloween evenings, I again did nothing at all this year. I have been very depressed about it all weekend. The problem is that I am surrounded by absolutely ZERO friends with whom I can be myself. Yes, you’re out there, and I love each and every one of you; but as usual, I’m a bazillion miles away from you all with no chance of getting together.
With little else to do this weekend, I reflected a whole bunch on this whole Halloween thing. Okay, not entirely accurate. I watched a bunch of sappy love stories (“Imagine Me and You,” “The Lake House,” “Sweet November,” “Somewhere In Time,” you know, that kind of thing), cried for hours on end, wondered if I would ever feel the flutter of emotion that comes from seeing a man crouch on one knee in front of me, cried some more, had some drinks, did a bunch of Facebooking, THEN reflected a whole bunch on this whole Halloween thing. As I semi-publicly lamented my lack of Halloween festivity again this year, I received a comment on FB that really gave me pause. The comment was:
I’m living for the one night I can “get away with it,” when what I really want is to live every day of my life externally aligned with the person I feel like on the inside. I realize that I am placing so much importance on Halloween, because it is the one day that I am still “safe.” The truth is that I am still so afraid of the potential consequences of openly expressing who I am to the outside world that I am still hiding behind the guise of plausible deniability. I don’t have to actually take a chance; I don’t have to actually admit anything when I can say, “hey, it’s just in fun… you know, for Halloween.”
That is not what I want. I have been deluding myself. I cannot keep clinging to these stupid safety nets! Eventually, I’m going to have to learn how to work without them. Oh boy. I’m scared. I’m going to need a lot of friends!
This has been a monumental weekend. I have officially completed the course-work for the first of my classes. It has certainly taken more effort than I anticipated, but it seems manageable. I am happy to have this little milestone achieved.
On a less festive note, another Halloween has come and gone. Halloween is by far my most favorite holiday of them all. Of course, we all know why that is – it’s the one time of year when boys in dresses raise little more than a chuckle from the neighbors. Sadly, as with most Halloween evenings, I again did nothing at all this year. I have been very depressed about it all weekend. The problem is that I am surrounded by absolutely ZERO friends with whom I can be myself. Yes, you’re out there, and I love each and every one of you; but as usual, I’m a bazillion miles away from you all with no chance of getting together.
With little else to do this weekend, I reflected a whole bunch on this whole Halloween thing. Okay, not entirely accurate. I watched a bunch of sappy love stories (“Imagine Me and You,” “The Lake House,” “Sweet November,” “Somewhere In Time,” you know, that kind of thing), cried for hours on end, wondered if I would ever feel the flutter of emotion that comes from seeing a man crouch on one knee in front of me, cried some more, had some drinks, did a bunch of Facebooking, THEN reflected a whole bunch on this whole Halloween thing. As I semi-publicly lamented my lack of Halloween festivity again this year, I received a comment on FB that really gave me pause. The comment was:
Here is your prescription: On Saturday, dress to the nines, and go out. GoGreat advice, and I dearly love my good friend who offered it, but a particular part of the comment really stuck with me – “the only day of the year you can get away with it [emphasis added].” Is that what I’ve been doing? I suppose it is.
anywhere you'd like; because it's freakin' Halloween and the only day of the
year that you can get away with it! Do it! (You know you wanna). DON'T HOLD
BACK!
I’m living for the one night I can “get away with it,” when what I really want is to live every day of my life externally aligned with the person I feel like on the inside. I realize that I am placing so much importance on Halloween, because it is the one day that I am still “safe.” The truth is that I am still so afraid of the potential consequences of openly expressing who I am to the outside world that I am still hiding behind the guise of plausible deniability. I don’t have to actually take a chance; I don’t have to actually admit anything when I can say, “hey, it’s just in fun… you know, for Halloween.”
That is not what I want. I have been deluding myself. I cannot keep clinging to these stupid safety nets! Eventually, I’m going to have to learn how to work without them. Oh boy. I’m scared. I’m going to need a lot of friends!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Checking In, Again.
Greetings all!
I know that I have been somewhat less than present in recent months. I must apologize. This is not for any lack of things to write about, honestly. The truth is that I am trying to make some larger scale preparations for a final transition. It is no secret to the group here that I have dreamed of correcting my sex for almost as many years as I have been alive. Over the last couple years, I've had to deal with a somewhat new set of issues.
In ancient times, transition was hindered not only by fear, but also by finance. Having these things corrected is outrageously expensive! The electrolysis alone is enough to put a person in the poor house. In recent years, the financial concern is far less significant; however, the career that makes transition less financially daunting is itself threatened by the act of transitioning. Frustrating.
With a great deal of cypherin’ and gazinto’s I realized that there was really only one viable preventative measure. I had to take steps to insure that I would have some avenue to continue to support myself even after transition. With that in mind, I enrolled in college (again) a couple months ago, and I've been very focused on that effort ever since. This new effort is exciting but exhausting.
I have been devoting a lot of hours to study, and frankly with all the writing I’m doing to support my coursework, I've had little interest in writing for my blogs. It’s nothing personal. It’s just the best way I can see right now to facilitate a transition without sacrificing my entire livelihood. And… I won’t deny that I am a little excited by the concept of finally doing something more fulfilling. Yay me!
That said, I hope y’all understand that I am not turning my back on the community or anything like that. I don’t want to disappear entirely, so I will try to continue to check in as much as possible. In the mean time, wish me well!
Hugs,
K
P.S. I do have an actual post brewing around something that happened in class last week, but it will take me a few days to get it together. Suffice to say that I am steaming about it at the moment. I hope that posting here will help to alleviate my aggravation… though I’m sure it will probably annoy a few of you as well, so for that I apologize in advance! Take care!
I know that I have been somewhat less than present in recent months. I must apologize. This is not for any lack of things to write about, honestly. The truth is that I am trying to make some larger scale preparations for a final transition. It is no secret to the group here that I have dreamed of correcting my sex for almost as many years as I have been alive. Over the last couple years, I've had to deal with a somewhat new set of issues.
In ancient times, transition was hindered not only by fear, but also by finance. Having these things corrected is outrageously expensive! The electrolysis alone is enough to put a person in the poor house. In recent years, the financial concern is far less significant; however, the career that makes transition less financially daunting is itself threatened by the act of transitioning. Frustrating.
With a great deal of cypherin’ and gazinto’s I realized that there was really only one viable preventative measure. I had to take steps to insure that I would have some avenue to continue to support myself even after transition. With that in mind, I enrolled in college (again) a couple months ago, and I've been very focused on that effort ever since. This new effort is exciting but exhausting.
I have been devoting a lot of hours to study, and frankly with all the writing I’m doing to support my coursework, I've had little interest in writing for my blogs. It’s nothing personal. It’s just the best way I can see right now to facilitate a transition without sacrificing my entire livelihood. And… I won’t deny that I am a little excited by the concept of finally doing something more fulfilling. Yay me!
That said, I hope y’all understand that I am not turning my back on the community or anything like that. I don’t want to disappear entirely, so I will try to continue to check in as much as possible. In the mean time, wish me well!
Hugs,
K
P.S. I do have an actual post brewing around something that happened in class last week, but it will take me a few days to get it together. Suffice to say that I am steaming about it at the moment. I hope that posting here will help to alleviate my aggravation… though I’m sure it will probably annoy a few of you as well, so for that I apologize in advance! Take care!
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