Monday, December 6, 2010

Working for the Weekend

Greetings my friends.  

As we enter December (I cannot believe we are on the tail of 2010.  It seems only yesterday when I was thinking about all the things I was going to do differently (again) this year!), I cannot help reflecting on the events of this past year.  It has truly been a whirlwind, and I recall just a few short months ago thinking that if I survived this year; I might quite possibly be immortal.  Well, it’s not over yet, but I’m still standing!
In the past twelve months, I have planned a relocation, gotten engaged, canceled a relocation, spent several months on the road, bought a house, moved, got married (all while traveling EVERY week), helped a friend relocate… twice, went on a honeymoon, and entered multiple major projects within my primary work responsibility (which is separate from my travel requirements).  Through it all, I have continued to take baby steps toward an outwardly female life.

I do think I will take one significant lesson with me into my future from this year.  That is that while sometimes we fail to see the forest for the trees, when we fail to appreciate the trees; the forest becomes a hopeless maze.  I think that the greatest limitation I have experienced over the years, aside from an overdeveloped concern for others’ opinions of me, has been my own compulsion to focus on the end game.  I get so caught up in the overwhelming nature of the changes that need to happen in order to bring about my ultimate future (my forest), that I give up on taking the little steps (my trees) I need to get there.  Then I get depressed.

On the other hand, when I successfully keep my focus on the moment and on the not-too-distant future, I find that I can enjoy my life.  And you know what?  While I’m doing that, the changes that I need to make are falling into place without my even noticing.  For example, I have hips!  I just noticed them.  My hips and butt have taken on a whole new shape over the last year, and I didn’t even notice that it was happening!  When I slipped into a pair of jeans a couple weeks ago (I was so frustrated that I couldn’t find anything to wear to the club, I just gave up and slipped on some jeans and a pair of pumps) in preparation for our “date night,” I was shocked at the figure that I saw in the mirror!  That wasn’t there a year ago!

My only regret is that I didn’t grab a couple snapshots to share with you all.  I promise to do that next time (maybe this weekend?).  In the mean time, I hope everyone is doing well.