It is with an empty heart that I type this final post. I used to dream of being a writer. I used to dream of a lot of things. I think, though, I have reached a point in life when I must finally realize that those dreams will never be anything more. I regret that I never made the effort, never took the risks. I never lived. I suppose it was fear that kept me from putting myself out there. Whatever the case, my dreams have done nothing but create emptiness in my life, and pain in the lives of those around me.
So, yes, I am giving up. I am putting away the "pen and paper," and I am giving up. What I have written may have helped some people, and for that I am grateful; but the truth is I cannot continue to maintain this front. I cannot continue to pretend that I am in a position to share wisdom, humor, insights, or anything else, when my life and my head/heart are such a complete and utter mess. I do not have it together. I am not okay. Writing was supposed to help me work through that. The truth is, I don't even know what I'm trying to work through.
I hope those of you who have followed me so faithfully can find your inspiration, wisdom, humor, data, or whatever it was you found here somewhere else. I wish you all the best. Ciao for now.
I am sorry.
Kate
Kate,
ReplyDeleteI look at writing in these blogs in a similar light as I view karaoke singers. Some are really good, most do fairly well. And yes, there are some that the KJ will give them money from the tip jar not to sing.
We recently lost Melissa Price's blessing. She had a way of writing about the simplicity of living that was a joy to read. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite mentioning this because I have been slow in adding things to the 'Chowder.
I can recall reading some of your earlier posts, and some of that is happening in my world now. I may get into some of the details, but at a later time.
And yes, I agree that cleaning away some of the clutter in our lives can in the end help us to enjoy a more relaxed and clear existence.
I don't know what may be happening in your part of the universe. But if you need a hand, a hug, or a shoulder, I can be of support. Even as kindred spirits in a virtual sense. We are never alone. My email address in on my blog.
Via con Dios, Kate. I wish for only the best for you on your journey, wherever you travel.
And it's not, "goodbye." It's, "See you later."
Caio!
Sarah
Thank you so much Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI hope this isn't goodbye for ever. I do hope to be back at writing again someday soon. I do take pleasure in it, and I know there are others who enjoy my wackiness as well.
I am just in a really bad spot mentally/emotionally right now, and I really need to get my head back together. And until I can write openly and without having to continually censor myself out of fear of repercussions in my professional life, the writing is really just another source of mental hardship.
On top of it all, I haven't been doing a very good job of keeping up with the blog anyway. I believe that once some of the other crap in my life starts to fall in line, I will be able to get back into this and truly enjoy it again.
In the mean time, I will continue to follow along with all of you. And I sincerely appreciate your friendship, and hope for only good things in your life.
Take care,
Kate
Sad that I have only picked up your blog today and started reading - only to find that you are taking a holiday away.
ReplyDeleteSometimes its easy to share thoughts in public, but often its too raw, too personal.
It's not the easiest, this life thats been chosen for us and at times it can feel overwhelming. I know that somedays I could just sit and cry but there are others where the sun does shine and I can see a reason to get out and say hello to the world.
I hope that you can find a way through your current trouble and that help, if you need, it can be located.
Best of luck to you Kate