Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Shot Read Round the World

It's been about a week since I sent the letter to my family.  It may seem like a copout, I know, but I honestly feel it was the best way to handle my family.  For those who are in the current century, I emailed the letter with accompanying offers of discussion from both my beautiful partner and from me.  My mom received hers in the mail.  It has only been a week, well for my mom it has only been a few days.  I have received messages of encouragement from cousins, etc., but as yet I have heard nothing from any of my immediate family.

I followed up the family effort with a "mass mailing," okay it was a note published on Facebook... same thing.  I am farther "out" than ever before.  The only place I am not public is with my employer (and even there, a very large percentage of my colleagues and coworkers know, as they are either on my Facebook friends list or they talk to someone on my list).  The only reason I haven't told my employer is that I don't think I'm quite ready to handle the stress that will bring.  I need a week or two to settle down.  (I also want to make sure that I do that one right, because I have a feeling it will end badly.  I need to have all my ducks in a row, so to speak).

Next Thursday, I have my first appointment with a new counselor.  I am very excited about that.  It has been a long time since I've been to a counselor, and I certainly have enough to talk about these days!

It's been a rough week.  I know that I am ready, and I know that I am prepared for the worst regarding family relationships, etc., but it still hurts.  I've been crying a lot.  Just a couple hours ago, I started crying in the middle of a restaurant, because the coleslaw I was eating reminded me of a salad my mom used to make... embarrassing.  You know what though?  I'm in a good place.  My emotions are running very high these last few days, but I have never felt more confident in myself, more assured of my relationships with the loved ones near me, or more excited about our (and my) future.  I love my life, and I know that the future - whatever it may hold - is going to be even better than today.  More than anything though, I so deeply appreciate my wife and partner.  She is my rock, and she has been such a strong support over the last few weeks (ever since I met her, but especially over the last few weeks).  I don't know how I would do any of this without her.

Hope you are all having a great week!


1 comment:

  1. Sending a letter isn't a copout. I know several people that have approached their family this way. You are the best judge of how to handle them. The major advantage is being able to craft your message, without being interrupted by questions or yelling or weeping or whatever you might have dreaded. This epiphany demands complete thoughts.

    Waiting to tell your employer is smart. Word is likely filtering to the top even now, and that should give them some time to decide how to treat the situation without being broadsided by your revelation. Surprise is not your friend here.

    I'm really pleased that you found a counselor. You seem much happier now, but you still have a lot of things to work out, especially with your emotions flowing so freely.

    Thanks so much for the comment on my blog, Kate. My toes are intact, in fact you missed them completely. Nothing out of line in what you said, and much wisdom.


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